Busy-Body Building for Women
Empowerment or impairment? You be the judge.
By Angie Brennan
Not long ago I received a flier in the mail advertising a conference for women.
"Now, more than ever," the flier said, "you have unlimited potential when it comes to
what you can achieve." I hoped they would explain why now, more than ever, so I read
on: "All it takes is the right attitude, the right plan, the right opportunities, and the right
tools." Is that it? Why, they make it sound so easy!
There were a number of interesting workshops being offered. One was entitled "Feng
Shui: Hidden messages in one's work environment."
I can see it now: Jane, who has just taken this course, walks into Carol's office. She
notes that the picture of Carol's husband is at a slight angle to the tape dispenser. This
gives Jane powerful insight into Carol's personal matters...
Jane: I'm sorry about your marriage problems, Carol.
Carol: Wha--how did you—
Jane: It seems to me (here she glances toward the window and notes a tropical
plant with some yellowing leaves) that you and your husband need to talk about your
financial disagreements and put the matter of the toaster oven behind you.
Carol: Hey! Who told—
Jane: And do yourself a favor: lose the natural oak CD holder. If you only realized what
it says about you. I'd go with one of those metal ones, if you get my drift.
Carol: No, I don’t get your—
Jane: See you at the meeting this afternoon.
Carol might be interested in taking another of the workshops being offered: "How to
keep difficult people from ruining your day."
This one also looked interesting: "Tips and techniques for navigating delicate interactions
like a pro. How to address even the most awkward topics—like body odor, bad breath,
poor table manners, and inappropriate dress—in a way that leaves everyone's dignity
intact."
At the meeting later that afternoon...
Dave: Okay, I think that about wraps it up, unless anyone has anything else to add.
Jane: Ahem.
Dave: Jane? Did you want to say something?
Jane: That was a great report, Dave; thanks for sharing it. Also, I find that the Island
Mist foaming hand wash conveniently placed by the breakroom sink is very effective for
cleaning hands as well as providing a fresh, pleasant scent.
Dave: Uh, yeah. Okay, thanks, Jane.
Jane: One enjoys being around someone who's just used Island Mist foaming hand wash.
Dave: Right. I’m sure it's a great experience—
Jane: And one doesn’t always enjoy being around those with a, shall we say, distinctly
un-Island Mistlike aroma.
Dave: I think I’ll go wash my hands.
Jane: It takes a strong vice-president of marketing to say that, Dave.
Dave: Thanks, Jane. By the way, you’re fired.
At least Dave’s dignity was left intact.
