This isn’t your mother’s food pyramid. No longer are food groups represented as horizontal blocks with bread and
cereals at the foundation. Now we have stripes representing each group running bottom to top (or top to bottom,
depending on your preference). We certainly wouldn’t want any food groups feeling like one was more important
than another.
Except sugar. After all, kids might get the wrong idea with the old food pyramid that placed sugar and fat up
top—as if they were king of the food groups. In fact, sugar is not even on the new pyramid, having been
grounded and sent to its room.
Some critics don’t think the punishment went far enough. "The materials don’t even have the guts to urge kids to
drink less soda pop, to eat less candy," said Michael Jacobson, executive director of the Washington-based Center
for Science in the Public Interest. Apparently Mr. Jacobson would be happier if sugar were beaten and kept in a
dark closet.
He might like the government’s video game, however. In the "MyPyramid Blast Off" game, kids load a rocket
ship with the right combination of healthy foods: fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lowfat or fat-free milk and lean
meat. Load up with the wrong kind of fuel, or too much of it, and you can’t blast off to Planet Power.
Meet up with Darth Sugar, and the player is shoved, screaming, into an endless black void, while also being
attacked by the evil Caketroopers who blast away using their deadly bullets poisoned with trans fat.
Just kidding about that last part.
So should kids be encouraged to exercise and use moderation in their eating habits? Of course. Will the new
pyramid and its culinary computer game make a big difference in that endeavor? Let's hope we won't be taken in
by that pyramid scheme.
cereals at the foundation. Now we have stripes representing each group running bottom to top (or top to bottom,
depending on your preference). We certainly wouldn’t want any food groups feeling like one was more important
than another.
Except sugar. After all, kids might get the wrong idea with the old food pyramid that placed sugar and fat up
top—as if they were king of the food groups. In fact, sugar is not even on the new pyramid, having been
grounded and sent to its room.
Some critics don’t think the punishment went far enough. "The materials don’t even have the guts to urge kids to
drink less soda pop, to eat less candy," said Michael Jacobson, executive director of the Washington-based Center
for Science in the Public Interest. Apparently Mr. Jacobson would be happier if sugar were beaten and kept in a
dark closet.
He might like the government’s video game, however. In the "MyPyramid Blast Off" game, kids load a rocket
ship with the right combination of healthy foods: fruits, vegetables, whole grains, lowfat or fat-free milk and lean
meat. Load up with the wrong kind of fuel, or too much of it, and you can’t blast off to Planet Power.
Meet up with Darth Sugar, and the player is shoved, screaming, into an endless black void, while also being
attacked by the evil Caketroopers who blast away using their deadly bullets poisoned with trans fat.
Just kidding about that last part.
So should kids be encouraged to exercise and use moderation in their eating habits? Of course. Will the new
pyramid and its culinary computer game make a big difference in that endeavor? Let's hope we won't be taken in
by that pyramid scheme.
| Click on the links below to read some of Angie's humor, or scroll down to read "Nutritional Profiling." Read Angie's monthly humor column, "Banter from the Burbs," at Suburban Scene magazine |
Dear Angie
Helpful Advice for Everyday Living. Not.
More Spoof Advice
At Angie's Humor Blog
Ask Aunt Scriba
Writing advice like you've never seen
If You Blog It, They Will Come
Look, I can stop reading blogs anytime I want.
House Arrest for Fun and Profit
Don't you love in-home sales parties? Me neither.
'Til Death Do Us Part
Breaking up with the book club
Exercising My Right to Be Sedentary
Let's hear it for exertion aversion!
Those Cute Little Sprouts
They may be cute, but I I'd prefer edible
Caller Motivation
When Caller ID Just isn't Enough
Helpful Advice for Everyday Living. Not.
More Spoof Advice
At Angie's Humor Blog
Ask Aunt Scriba
Writing advice like you've never seen
If You Blog It, They Will Come
Look, I can stop reading blogs anytime I want.
House Arrest for Fun and Profit
Don't you love in-home sales parties? Me neither.
'Til Death Do Us Part
Breaking up with the book club
Exercising My Right to Be Sedentary
Let's hear it for exertion aversion!
Those Cute Little Sprouts
They may be cute, but I I'd prefer edible
Caller Motivation
When Caller ID Just isn't Enough
The Wodehouse Strikes Back
What if P.G. Wodehouse had written Star Wars?
Regret: a Poem
In which I get my just desserts
Cyrano's Heart Knows Repose
What if it had a happy ending?
In 1492...
A new version of an old ditty
What if P.G. Wodehouse had written Star Wars?
Regret: a Poem
In which I get my just desserts
Cyrano's Heart Knows Repose
What if it had a happy ending?
In 1492...
A new version of an old ditty
| Current Event/ General Humor |
| Spoof Advice |
Pie Crust Prohibition
Start spreadin' the margarine, New York
Holiday Basket Case
Thanks for the goodies, Aunt Edna!
Busy-Body Building for Women
Empowerment or impairment? You be the judge.
A Nickel Ain't Worth a Dime Anymore
The new nickel is something to smile about
Start spreadin' the margarine, New York
Holiday Basket Case
Thanks for the goodies, Aunt Edna!
Busy-Body Building for Women
Empowerment or impairment? You be the judge.
A Nickel Ain't Worth a Dime Anymore
The new nickel is something to smile about
| Humorous Personal Essays |
| Short stories & Poetry |
Nutritional Profiling
The Government War on Sugar
by Angie Brennan
Here’s a little quiz: let’s say you were trying to encourage your kids to live a
more healthful lifestyle. Would you:
a) Take a family bike ride
b) Enjoy a "funny face" snack made with bagels, raisins, and apples
c) Send them to play a computer game
If you guessed "c," go to the head of the line and consider applying for a job
at the U.S. Department of Agriculture!
Introducing the new kids’ food pyramid, recently unveiled by the
aforementioned Department, along with its accompanying computer game—
all part of a balanced educational diet.
The Government War on Sugar
by Angie Brennan
Here’s a little quiz: let’s say you were trying to encourage your kids to live a
more healthful lifestyle. Would you:
a) Take a family bike ride
b) Enjoy a "funny face" snack made with bagels, raisins, and apples
c) Send them to play a computer game
If you guessed "c," go to the head of the line and consider applying for a job
at the U.S. Department of Agriculture!
Introducing the new kids’ food pyramid, recently unveiled by the
aforementioned Department, along with its accompanying computer game—
all part of a balanced educational diet.
_______________________________________________________________________
| C O P Y R I G H T 2 0 0 7 ANGIE BRENNAN, humor writer & illustrator SITEMAP |
